24 Aug 2015

keri: (Default)
my boobs hurt so much these last two days i feel like i am DYING but i know it's NOTHING compared to how much i feel like i'll be dying come Thursday/Friday/Saturday when my period finally starts (there is a direct correlation between how exhausted i am on the weekend previous + boob hurtiness and how bad my period cramps are, but i can't really tell which day it will begin)


also you may have noticed from lack of chatter about it, i have not moved into my sister's apartment yet. stuff came up with needing repairs/appliances/fucking air conditioning, so it's been delayed for the foreseeable future which is why i didn't want to talk about it or look forward to it in the first place mom (but no, she said "it's basically a done thing!" and convinced me not to listen to my gut)


i started riding my bike again a couple weekends ago after avoiding it because of a) tired and b) heat/rain, which is good, but also June and July were Very Bad months for living/eating healthfully, and i had lost weight last spring and now i've gained it all back, and it's frustrating. i need to eat fewer processed foods/carbs, but it's really difficult when i'm usually too tired to put effort into it - sometimes just looking at my asparagus makes me feel weary from the effort that it takes to eat it later, you know? even though it's my favorite vegetable. so i end up with soft food which is usually bread or sweet. i've been pleased with myself for eating new and different stuff at the food trucks, and especially that i'm picking things that have vegetables in, and veggies that i don't even normally like, besides. but it's kind of pricey and still not as healthful as it could be, i guess. anyway, it's discouraging. i want to eat better and then i feel so much guilt when i don't, but sometimes the effort to eat better is too much.

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