17 May 2017

keri: ([szs] so i herd u r desparin (mudkip sen)
I haven't posted anything to DW since topping off my journal transfer because I keep meaning to go back and make all my embarrassing decade-old-age-20-and-suicidally-depressed stuff private.

But who is actually going to scroll back and read all that (they should be locked anyway, I guess). (DEFINITELY NOT ME I CAN'T BEAR IT JUST RELIVING IT IN MY HEAD IS ENOUGH.)

I'm posting now because I need a release valve for some anxiety, naturally. I can't do it on twitter because i have local followers (library, museum...people who know me but i don't know, it's kind of terrifying) and this is something i'm keeping close to my chest.

See: i just applied for a new job. I was practically poached for it, and I'm terrified that I'm not qualified, and I've not even been in my current job for a year, technically. (I mean, I guess I've been in this job for FOUR YEARS but i was officially promoted to it on July 16, 2016. Yes, a Saturday - that's when our payroll week starts.)

It's the Coordinator of Data Management position at UNF, and it's been open for about a year. They almost hired someone three different times, but it fell through each time. So I don't really want to blab about it in case something happens this time, too, and I stay with MOCA. It's a public job posting, you can see the description at UNFJobs.org. I didn't apply for two reasons 1) museum loyalty 2) preferred qualifications include a master's degree and skills that i have no hope of learning without on-the-job training or in school. BUT the director of the department herself told me to apply, and that it's okay if I don't have the right degrees, because i have more important experience in the department already AND i did get accepted to grad school in the right field, and i'm sincerely interested in growing my skills. (I really, really want to learn SQL instead of the dabbling I did 10 years ago.)

This job would be hugely beneficial to me, but after 7 years, my self-identity is so invested in the museum that it's kind of hard to do, you know? but i remind myself that I'm not getting the support or training that i need where i am, and also i really hate certain aspects of my job (SALES i hate selling things) that don't exist in the new one, AND with this new position, i could still go back to museums in the future. also i would still be supporting the museum, just more behind the lines and in a place that's less financially unstable. (the economy is super precarious for museums right now, especially if your job is fundraising - it feels like as robust as your current donors might be, there's a corner approaching that hides a cliff, you know?)

anyway, i never write in my journal except anxiety release valve posts so here we go.

ps
my tumblr is really awesome i have 830+ followers and only like a handful are porn blogs i can't believe more than 800 people care about screencaps of handwriting in old movies, i am such a nerd but i'm not the only one ha ha ha

May 2017

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