keri: (rgad - sad face)
All about my back problems this last week )

anyway. lots of whining and complaining because i'm tired of feeling useless and in pain. i can't even clean my room with all these days i have off from work!

so lemme leave a tip re: something that has bothered me all week:

when someone has some kind of chronic injury or pain and it flares up or whatever, don't ask "what did you do (to yourself)?". that's blaming them for something that they can't control and probably has nothing to do with what they did. if you're trying to show sympathy/concern, instead ask "what happened?" or "how long has it been like this?" or "is there anything i can do to help?" - because, seriously, implying that it's my fault that i'm in pain, when i do everything i can NOT to hurt? is pretty cruel. it's especially frustrating to me, this week, because i'd finally had a good night's sleep and felt not-depressed when it happened, and i can't bear the thought that any time I want to sleep well, I'm going to end up with a crooked back. (I sleep best on my stomach, my doctor said "oh, you know you shouldn't sleep on your stomach if you have back problems" i replied "yeah, tell that to me when i'm dead asleep and i usually fall asleep on my side, like i'm 'supposed to' do")

PS: lololol. a lot of people have suggested over the years that i get a hot tub or put a heating pad on when my back gets like this, and i always say "no, when i'm stiff/hurting, heat makes it worse". so on thursday, i did get into the tub. and it felt a bit less bad while i was in the water (even while i was mentally going 'ew ew ew gross gross gross' because i have this Thing about hottubs/baths/swimming pools). but as soon as i got out, i could tell that there was exactly 0 improvement, if not the exact opposite. so.
keri: (rgad - sad face)
All about my back problems this last week )

anyway. lots of whining and complaining because i'm tired of feeling useless and in pain. i can't even clean my room with all these days i have off from work!

so lemme leave a tip re: something that has bothered me all week:

when someone has some kind of chronic injury or pain and it flares up or whatever, don't ask "what did you do (to yourself)?". that's blaming them for something that they can't control and probably has nothing to do with what they did. if you're trying to show sympathy/concern, instead ask "what happened?" or "how long has it been like this?" or "is there anything i can do to help?" - because, seriously, implying that it's my fault that i'm in pain, when i do everything i can NOT to hurt? is pretty cruel. it's especially frustrating to me, this week, because i'd finally had a good night's sleep and felt not-depressed when it happened, and i can't bear the thought that any time I want to sleep well, I'm going to end up with a crooked back. (I sleep best on my stomach, my doctor said "oh, you know you shouldn't sleep on your stomach if you have back problems" i replied "yeah, tell that to me when i'm dead asleep and i usually fall asleep on my side, like i'm 'supposed to' do")

PS: lololol. a lot of people have suggested over the years that i get a hot tub or put a heating pad on when my back gets like this, and i always say "no, when i'm stiff/hurting, heat makes it worse". so on thursday, i did get into the tub. and it felt a bit less bad while i was in the water (even while i was mentally going 'ew ew ew gross gross gross' because i have this Thing about hottubs/baths/swimming pools). but as soon as i got out, i could tell that there was exactly 0 improvement, if not the exact opposite. so.
keri: (smarter than she seems!)
When I cut myself, there's a moment between seeing/feeling the cutting thing tear the skin, and then pause as I comprehend what that means. Oh shit. And then: oh shit. Another split second as I register the blood welling up and run for something to hold over the cut to keep blood from dripping, to put some pressure on the wound while I get the first aid kit. "Oh, shit, momma, Tim..." usually comes out at this point, "I need some gauze and bandages. Quick!" (The first aid is in their bathroom, because momma uses it a lot with her injections and things. I just have neosporin and bandaids of different sizes in my kit.) By the time I get someone to aid me, the adrenalin has started rushing through my system, and I am light-headed and with vague pain in the injured part. I am putting pressure on the wound to try to slow the flow of blood, but spots threaten to dance in front of my eyes, and my stomach is threatening to up-end itself if I don't faint first. This is why I'm glad someone else is around, to quickly replace my first-grab thing with a bit of clean, sterilized gauze, and then help me start to bandage the wound properly, until my consciousness stops threatening to walk out on me. Drinking water then is good, though I'm not sure why. It helps with the pukey feeling, which helps with the light-headedness, which means I'm more capable of proper first aid on myself.

There was a chunk of skin left on the apple corer. It was gross to touch, separated from anything human, but still undeniably from my finger. I imagine that touching Frankenstein's monster would produce a similar shudder down the spine. This wasn't some flake of dead skin, either, or the clumps of tissue you get with menstrual fluid. This was something that wasn't supposed to be separate. It was unnerving and gross. I had to use a tissue to remove it from the blade, as though I were picking up a dead cockroach. I did that task very gingerly, acutely aware of how sharp the blade is, now that it took a chunk out of my thumb - 1cm×.5cm, at least, and it left a decently sized pit - bigger than the time I had a growth removed from my nose and the dermatologist had to go relatively deep to remove all the tissue.

I think I'm going to stick to buying pre-cut apples from now on, even if they are a little more expensive. This isn't the first time I've cut myself while slicing up an apple, though it's the first time a chunk of skin got removed while doing it.
keri: (smarter than she seems!)
When I cut myself, there's a moment between seeing/feeling the cutting thing tear the skin, and then pause as I comprehend what that means. Oh shit. And then: oh shit. Another split second as I register the blood welling up and run for something to hold over the cut to keep blood from dripping, to put some pressure on the wound while I get the first aid kit. "Oh, shit, momma, Tim..." usually comes out at this point, "I need some gauze and bandages. Quick!" (The first aid is in their bathroom, because momma uses it a lot with her injections and things. I just have neosporin and bandaids of different sizes in my kit.) By the time I get someone to aid me, the adrenalin has started rushing through my system, and I am light-headed and with vague pain in the injured part. I am putting pressure on the wound to try to slow the flow of blood, but spots threaten to dance in front of my eyes, and my stomach is threatening to up-end itself if I don't faint first. This is why I'm glad someone else is around, to quickly replace my first-grab thing with a bit of clean, sterilized gauze, and then help me start to bandage the wound properly, until my consciousness stops threatening to walk out on me. Drinking water then is good, though I'm not sure why. It helps with the pukey feeling, which helps with the light-headedness, which means I'm more capable of proper first aid on myself.

There was a chunk of skin left on the apple corer. It was gross to touch, separated from anything human, but still undeniably from my finger. I imagine that touching Frankenstein's monster would produce a similar shudder down the spine. This wasn't some flake of dead skin, either, or the clumps of tissue you get with menstrual fluid. This was something that wasn't supposed to be separate. It was unnerving and gross. I had to use a tissue to remove it from the blade, as though I were picking up a dead cockroach. I did that task very gingerly, acutely aware of how sharp the blade is, now that it took a chunk out of my thumb - 1cm×.5cm, at least, and it left a decently sized pit - bigger than the time I had a growth removed from my nose and the dermatologist had to go relatively deep to remove all the tissue.

I think I'm going to stick to buying pre-cut apples from now on, even if they are a little more expensive. This isn't the first time I've cut myself while slicing up an apple, though it's the first time a chunk of skin got removed while doing it.
keri: (argh!)
back still hurts.

worse than yesterday today.

got home as soon as possible, lay in bed semi-reclined with heating pad under back. watched arrested development. laughed so hard my back spasmed. settled down when watching nanny 911. back started to feel better.

got online to do hh_flourish stuff and answer emails/comments. feels like i've been online for four or seventeen hours instead of two, back is hurting again, despite switch to straight back chair. thank god i get to stay home tomorrow.

ow, another spasm.

most likely will be arranging to see a chiropractor wednesday morning. pretty sure i strained the muscles when carrying the really wide (3ft by 3ft), really heavy styrofoam boards that we put in the cabinets instead of framed posters. it's the only thing i can think of.

ow ow ow. i hate whining about it, but when it's the only thing i can think of, what else is there to say?

I received the card from fyria today. v. v. lovely.


i love receiving mail! i'll try to make out my cards tomorrow to send, but i don't know if i have enough for everyone whose addresses i have, but i'll try.

going back to bed now. there's a heating pad and sudoku and books and chocolate waiting for me, yay
keri: (argh!)
back still hurts.

worse than yesterday today.

got home as soon as possible, lay in bed semi-reclined with heating pad under back. watched arrested development. laughed so hard my back spasmed. settled down when watching nanny 911. back started to feel better.

got online to do hh_flourish stuff and answer emails/comments. feels like i've been online for four or seventeen hours instead of two, back is hurting again, despite switch to straight back chair. thank god i get to stay home tomorrow.

ow, another spasm.

most likely will be arranging to see a chiropractor wednesday morning. pretty sure i strained the muscles when carrying the really wide (3ft by 3ft), really heavy styrofoam boards that we put in the cabinets instead of framed posters. it's the only thing i can think of.

ow ow ow. i hate whining about it, but when it's the only thing i can think of, what else is there to say?

I received the card from fyria today. v. v. lovely.


i love receiving mail! i'll try to make out my cards tomorrow to send, but i don't know if i have enough for everyone whose addresses i have, but i'll try.

going back to bed now. there's a heating pad and sudoku and books and chocolate waiting for me, yay
keri: (KP - so not the drama!)
oh god my lower back is KILLING ME.

for over a year now, the joints at my hips have been getting really stiff and sore whenever I spend too long on my feet without moving at work, and I dunno why. I figure it's just too much retail with bad shoes.

so Wednesday I go to work and I'm set to toss old marketing and reorganize the marketing room (marketing = window hangings, window decorations, table signs, big easel signs, table decorations, magnets for pant sizes for racks, and so on). There's lots of bending over and lifting and moving boxes, but that's nothing new - I did this back in september, too, because every three months we get a new "keep list" and everything not on it gets tossed. Well, I was told not to do the big easel signs before because we didnt have enough hours, so I did it wednesday and thursday (took me six hours to organize the room and I haven't even done the five buckets of 9x11 signs for the frames for tables!). Totally beat up my hands with a papercut from the poster, scratched knuckles and fingers from opening boxes and digging around, and I strained my hand muscles trying to grasp big 3 foot square heavy duty styrofoam display boards that are two years old to carry them down the hall to the trash room. When I got home, I hand band-aids all over my hands, so I wouldn't hurt the cuts worse. And today, I kept almost grabbing some again, because the wools are irritating me really badly whenever I touch them. Uncool.

Anyway, my back and hips were sore wednesday night, but I figured it was because of the stooping over and standing I was doing, in heels. Then yesterday, I was doing less stooping and more ladder climbing, but neither day did I carry anything very heavy, but my back was still sore, though not as bad.

Today it's sore again, but still better, until I get out of the shower. Ow! And it's been getting worse all day. Sitting in the chair like I am isn't helping, but I'm less comfortable sitting properly. Now, I know this isn't the back pain that comes from having weak abdomen muscles - I've had that plenty and not as much lately. This feels like I strained my lower back musclesor something, and it's a steady, pulsing pain, about 6 on a 1-10 scale. Not quite unbearable, but it's making me very testy.


I wish I knew how to make it better. We don't have heating pads in this house.


Also, I have received several cards (and a gift), so thank you Susan and Kathy and Despair! I've actually got cards for everyone in my address book this year, but I lost my address book back in September with the aborted move, so I'm behind on sending things out again while I collect the scraps of addresses I put everywhere. Sorry. I might end up not sending cards, but I'll do my best.
keri: (KP - so not the drama!)
oh god my lower back is KILLING ME.

for over a year now, the joints at my hips have been getting really stiff and sore whenever I spend too long on my feet without moving at work, and I dunno why. I figure it's just too much retail with bad shoes.

so Wednesday I go to work and I'm set to toss old marketing and reorganize the marketing room (marketing = window hangings, window decorations, table signs, big easel signs, table decorations, magnets for pant sizes for racks, and so on). There's lots of bending over and lifting and moving boxes, but that's nothing new - I did this back in september, too, because every three months we get a new "keep list" and everything not on it gets tossed. Well, I was told not to do the big easel signs before because we didnt have enough hours, so I did it wednesday and thursday (took me six hours to organize the room and I haven't even done the five buckets of 9x11 signs for the frames for tables!). Totally beat up my hands with a papercut from the poster, scratched knuckles and fingers from opening boxes and digging around, and I strained my hand muscles trying to grasp big 3 foot square heavy duty styrofoam display boards that are two years old to carry them down the hall to the trash room. When I got home, I hand band-aids all over my hands, so I wouldn't hurt the cuts worse. And today, I kept almost grabbing some again, because the wools are irritating me really badly whenever I touch them. Uncool.

Anyway, my back and hips were sore wednesday night, but I figured it was because of the stooping over and standing I was doing, in heels. Then yesterday, I was doing less stooping and more ladder climbing, but neither day did I carry anything very heavy, but my back was still sore, though not as bad.

Today it's sore again, but still better, until I get out of the shower. Ow! And it's been getting worse all day. Sitting in the chair like I am isn't helping, but I'm less comfortable sitting properly. Now, I know this isn't the back pain that comes from having weak abdomen muscles - I've had that plenty and not as much lately. This feels like I strained my lower back musclesor something, and it's a steady, pulsing pain, about 6 on a 1-10 scale. Not quite unbearable, but it's making me very testy.


I wish I knew how to make it better. We don't have heating pads in this house.


Also, I have received several cards (and a gift), so thank you Susan and Kathy and Despair! I've actually got cards for everyone in my address book this year, but I lost my address book back in September with the aborted move, so I'm behind on sending things out again while I collect the scraps of addresses I put everywhere. Sorry. I might end up not sending cards, but I'll do my best.
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